


Desperately In Love With You

by awkwardrainbow



Series: Drabbles, One-Shots, and Unfinished Ideas [5]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cute, Desperately in love Clarke, Enjoy the sin, F/F, Fluffy, Love, Needed some sin, Partial Sin, Romance, SUPER FLUFFY FLUFF, Somewhat Fluffy Sin, Super fluffy tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-31 05:29:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6457747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awkwardrainbow/pseuds/awkwardrainbow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lexa Woods is gay and perfect,<br/>and Clarke Griffin is desperately in love with her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Desperately In Love With You

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know. This is just a fluffy little fic I started writing because it got in my head while I was trying to write my story "May You Remember Me"  
> I honestly really like it... I hope you guys do too. 
> 
> Have fun reading. :D

“Why are offices parties always so lame, and why do we always attend?” Lexa’s eyes were watching each one of our co-workers. She looked her normal sexy self, something I obviously noticed along with the rest of the guys in the office. She refused to look festive, how she could hate Christmas was something that I never thought made much sense. But she stuck to her passion on the matter.

She was dressed in a tight black dress, but it was frilly material, and was cut up the thigh so plenty of skin was showing. Plenty of skin I couldn’t keep my gay eyes off of. Her hair was down, but pulled back a little at the top. Brown curls were everywhere, but maintained, and it looked so damn good. She had red lipstick on, and an interesting smoky eyed look that wasn’t quite a smoky eyed look. She leaned back against the wall behind us, bringing the red cup to her lips just to crinkle her cute little nose when she tasted the flavorless punch.

“Because it’s a requirement that we bond with our coworkers.” I answer, being done with my examination of her body. Well for now anyway. I was the opposite of Lexa. I loved Christmas, and I easily dressed the part. I had let my blonde locks down in my face but it wasn’t crazy. I wore a Christmassy dress that didn’t have enough material for how cold it was outside. I even wore a Santa hat on my head, which Lexa had eyed with hate throughout the night, and even when we left the apartment.

“I live in the apartment next to you; I think that’s bonding enough.” Lexa suddenly wrinkled her nose cutely again which had me furrowing my eyebrows together at her as she turned her head slightly to meet my blue pupils. “Warn me next time when you bring Niylah home.” She then looked away, that look of distaste still played strongly on her pretty features and I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped me.

“Jealous?” I teased playfully, knowing that wouldn’t be true at all. Everyone in the office knew Lexa was gay, but she had a specified taste, and she made it clear when we had first met that I wasn’t it.

“Please, I didn’t hear you moaning. So she couldn’t have been that good.” Lexa brought her cup back to her lips just to crinkle her nose again. I only smiled at her.

“One day you’ll admit how much you want in my bed.” She ignored my comment, the only acknowledgement being the roll of her green eyes.

She then focuses her attention across from her on one of the office guys, Jasper, doing some kind of trick that was probably supposed to be impressive and funny, but honestly it just looked embarrassing. It made Lexa huff in annoyance and finally push off the wall we had been standing at for nearly thirty minutes of the party.

“Come dance with me.” She intertwined our hands pretty quickly, which shot that normal wave of electricity from her touch through my arm and through my body. I only smiled at the contact and allowed her to tug me onto what the office had designated as the dance floor. Some remix Christmas song was playing, and I was sure I hadn’t heard it before, but really I couldn’t care less about the music. All I could focus on was her body against mine, how warm she was, how nice it was when she decided to let me touch her. I liked the way she danced, like nothing else mattered but the way she moved and I had to be there with her so she could do it. She couldn’t dance alone, and I was more than willing to always assist her.

She was absolutely perfect.

And I was desperately in love with her.

And I was sure she knew it.

But that didn’t mean anything when she didn’t reciprocate those feelings. Not that I had ever tried anything on her. I had always avoided such a thing, the only reason she knew besides the way I acted around her, was because I had admitted it. I was wasted at the time, of course, but who’s not honest when they are drunk? And I know she remembers, but chooses to ignore it. I let her, of course, because Lexa Woods doesn’t fall in love and that’s okay.

I’m still going to love her anyway.

I had, had enough drinks tonight; however, to official not be able to stop my mouth from saying things without my permission. So where I normally keep my flirting to a minimum, my hands to myself, and my feelings locked away, the cuffs had come off. Now I was going to say everything, touch whatever she’d let me… Because that’s how I got when I was intoxicated and I was around her. Because I love her.

And she knew it.

“You look so beautiful.” I mumbled into her ear, allowing my hands to roam up her sides as she danced back into me. I felt her shiver, felt her tip her head slightly as my breath brushed her ear, I felt everything. I felt her. “You smell so good.” I mumbled softly, brushing my lips right under her ear, reveling in the way she breathed a little harder. She shivered again and swiftly turned in my arms so she could look at my eyes, which told everything.

“You are so wasted.” She chuckled, touching her palm to my cheek slightly. I could see the black nail polish on her nails, how they were kind of chipped, I could feel her touch everywhere. I encircled her waist with my arms and pulled her against me completely.

“Not drunk enough,” I mumbled as if to complain and buried my face into her neck. I took in her sent, pressed my lips to her skin, felt her moan before I heard how quiet it was… “I want to take you home.” I mumbled against her neck, though she probably didn’t hear me because I had mumbled it so quietly, and the music was so loud.

“Enough Clarke,” She mumbled hoarsely. Was I really affecting her, or was my intoxicated brain lying to me? Telling me what I wanted to hear in a way.

“Lexa,” I complained as she pulled me away from her, but not completely. She intertwined our fingers again and pulled me off the dance floor to the side near a table with a lot of Christmassy stuff on it. I liked the lights, and I reached down without thinking.

“What are you doing?” Lexa went to grab the lighted up mistletoe from me but I only giggled soft, grabbed a chair, and eventually attached it to the ceiling above us. When I had managed to get back down on my own, while she held onto me so I didn’t fall, I looked at her eyes, giggled and mumbled.

“Mistletoe Lexa,” I pointed up, and something about her seeing me this way made her only smile at me. If I had been sober, she would have hit me for sure. I swung my drunken arms around her waist and brought her against me again. “You have to kiss me now.” I mumble, getting closer to her face.

She only kept smiling at me. She brought her delicate hands up, shuffled them across my cheeks and then into my hair to brush it out of my face. She was about to say something, her eyes looking at me fondly as she brushed my hair back. I was lost in her green ones, completely mesmerized, as I normally am.

“MISTLETOE!!!!” A girl named Maya shouted rather loudly, loudly enough for the music to suddenly stop, and everyone to turn where she was pointing. Mistletoe in this office was a huge deal, and I had forgotten the lighted mistletoe was for couples, and it was part of a joke. They put it in the middle of the dance floor, and every time a couple past it they had to stop and kiss, and if they didn’t, they had to drink some kind of alcohol eggnog mix that sounded revolting.

“I didn’t know we were starting that now.” Jasper shouted rather demanding, upset probably, that he hadn’t been first to spot it. He was probably the weirdest guy in the office, but he kept the place lively usually.

“Sorry guys, false alarm. Clarke is a little drunk and put it up.” Lexa moved to retreat from me and to pull the mistletoe down, but Maya shouted for her to stop and approached us quickly. Everyone was watching us, but I didn’t care much. I only saw one person, as pure norm, and that person was Lexa.

“No, no, no!” Maya could be so bossy. “You have to kiss her or drink the eggnog, and since we didn’t set up the shots yet, you have to kiss her or Jasper.” Jasper shouted loudly in excitement at that one and quickly made his way over there. She wouldn’t want to kiss Jasper over me, kissing a guy always made her want to vomit.

“You’re kidding right Maya?” Lexa grabbed my hand and tugged me close, as if protecting me, but I really knew she was protecting herself. I was her shield, her confidence. And I loved being that for her. Now if only she’d stop protesting and kiss me already.

“No!” Maya sounded like a child. And it made me giggle, probably at a time that really wasn’t that funny.

“She’s drunk Maya. She put the mistletoe up because she thought it was supposed to be there, because she’s drunk. She’s drunk. It doesn’t count.” Why she had to emphasis how drunk I was, I wasn’t totally sure. I wasn’t that drunk anyway. I could still talk coherently for the most part, and walk on my own, for the most part. I wouldn’t forget my night, that was for sure.

“We’re all going to be drunk here soon Grinch. Kiss her or kiss Jasper, it’s the rules!” Why Maya sounded as if her life depended on this I wasn’t quite sure. But I didn’t care about any of that. I just wanted Lexa to kiss me, that’s why I put the damn thing up in the first place. I don’t care about the game, about the rules. I just wanted a kiss. One at least. Because this was probably my only chance to get one.

“Fine.” Lexa grunted unhappily as Maya crossed her arms along her chest, pushing her boobs up to where Jasper’s attention now transferred. Lexa tugged me close quickly and placed a kiss that set my whole body on fire on the corner of my mouth. I felt completely cheated as she pulled away and gave Maya her best death glare. Was the idea of kissing me that repulsive? I couldn’t be that repulsive to her! She was going to spend Christmas with me for god sake.

I grunted unhappily and pulled myself away from her suddenly. “That wasn’t a kiss.” I complained. Lexa was ready to fight anyone that denied her, but she hadn’t expected it to be me to do so.

“She has a point, not a kiss.” Jasper agreed, though probably because he had more perverted thoughts in his head. Suddenly Jasper turned, pulled a chair, stood on it and cupped his mouth. He started yelling “Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss.” And eventually everyone was chanting and yelling for it and I wasn’t quite sure how or why it happened but I started to clap and giggle all at the same time.

Lexa rolled her eyes and grabbed me again, pulling me flush against her. She grabbed my chin so I was looking at her, and she gave me a soft smile. The only sign that told me she wasn’t mad at me, not even remotely, for pulling such a stunt. “You’re so cute.” She whispered so only I could hear. I was in too much shock to pull her in, so she did that for me. Her fingers wrapped around the back of my neck and into my hair and pulled my mouth down onto hers.

I was so desperately in love.

I reacted immediately, something inside of me exploding. I had never felt a kiss like this, and something told me neither had she because she pulled me closer, though our kiss had probably been good enough. People were cheering, and the music had started up again, but all of that seemed to fade.

All I could feel was her soft lips against mine, brushing delicately, so sweet. I couldn’t hear anything but her breathing as our kiss grew more intense. I couldn’t feel or see anything but her. My senses were invaded by her, stuck in limbo by her mouth. I had gripped her waist now, held her close to me as I kissed her lips a bit more aggressively. I don’t want to part. I want to stay here forever.

Nothing had ever felt so right to me, so perfect. Her fingers were still running through my hair but my hands had a mind of their own, and I couldn’t help but release a moan once her tongue had glided across my lower lip and along my teeth. I opened my mouth for her, ran my tongue with hers eagerly, reveled and melted into her taste, her mouth, her touch, her kiss.

I was mesmerized, and she knew it.

I didn’t want to stop. I made that much clear as I tightened my grip so she would stay flush against me and in my arms. She didn’t seem to want to part either, though she had become less eager in her kisses and more passionate further mesmerizing and intoxicating me with all of her. How could someone control my emotions so intensely? How many people have experienced such a kiss, such a controlled emotion? How many people have experienced this kind of love?

I hadn’t expected her to shove me away suddenly. But she did, she shoved me, hard. It split our mouths apart, the moment crumbling faster than I could catch it as I fell back into a chair. I complained, releasing a painful moan as I landed in the chair and it had no cushion for my landing. She was beside me then, touching my face, like she hadn’t meant to push me away, but her eyes looked confused, even a little upset.

“I’m sorry, are you okay?” She whispered breathlessly, her lips looking rather chapped from our kissing. I wanted to kiss her again, even leaned forward for it, but she pushed me back by the shoulder and shook her head. Her eyes full of emotion I couldn’t read. “No Clarke, no.” She ran her palm along my cheek, moved her thumb across my cheekbone. “Come on, let’s go home.” She smiled at me affectionately one last time before pulling completely away from me.

She pulled me from the chair to help drag me out of the double doors as I complained about not being kissed enough, slurring words and tripping every once in a while. “I just don’t understand,” I shivered as the cold air hit us. “Why you can’t kiss me more, I mean, that was amazing!” I complained further. She only rolled those lovely green eyes at me, pulling her arm around my waist and tugging me to her as I almost ungracefully face planted in a pile of snow.

“You are so drunk.” She muttered out a bit aggressively, a tone that caused a shiver to run down my spine. I loved it when she spoke like that, all demanding and sharp. It was the sexiest thing… fuck, all of it was sexy.

I giggled as she guided me down the sidewalk toward the parking lot. I let my lips attach to her ear, her breath hitching, a small puff releasing to be seen in the cold air. “I want to take you home.” I muttered again, running my lips under her ear and down the part of her neck I could reach, allowing my tongue to touch skin. I swear she moaned, softly, but moaned none the less.

“You’re drunk Clarke,” She informed me yet again as we reached her car. A little black sports thing that probably wasn’t good for the cold, but she loved it regardless. I loved her in it, it was sexy. Everything she did was sexy. I love her. I giggle again out loud at my own thoughts and grab her waist to press her to the side of her little car. Her breath hitched again, her eyes darkening as I pulled back to meet her gaze… _Did she want me?_

“Not drunk enough.” I replied, a raspy tone taking over my voice I don’t often get. I kept her against the car, but I didn’t have much strength with the amount of alcohol running through me. She was probably aware of such a thing, but regardless she let me hold her there. Her eyes darkened as I pressed my body to hers. “You want me.” I whispered out, tone raspy and sultry as I saw her gulp. Her eyes never left mine, but it looked as if that was a struggle for her.

“I’m going to take you home and put you to bed Clarke.” She commanded softly, her pupils dilating as I allowed one of my seductive smirks to cross along my lips. Her eyes shot down to it, examining them for a lot longer than I thought she would. She liked my smirk, she had said so before. I tried to use it from time to time, but now I had intentions for it. I liked the way she was looking at me; I don’t think I’ve ever had her look at me this way before. I didn’t want to ruin it or allow this moment to go to waste.

“Only if you come to bed with me.” I brushed my nose delicately with her, and she stopped breathing. Her fingers found the sides of my face; her hands were shaky, trembling. I wondered why I had never noticed the effect I had over her before, or was this just because of the cold. “Let me warm you up,” I whispered seductively, my tone low, one I’ve never used before. She groaned as I shuffled my hands along her bare thighs and moved them up, under her dress, under the slit on the side.

“Not now Clarke,” She mumbled breathlessly, her head tilting back despite her words. I smirked and began to run warm open mouthed kisses along her jawline and down her neck, stopping to suck on a part that made her body squirm against mine. She moaned again… I swear it was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard. “Clarke,” She tried again, her hands tightening in my hair as I moved my hands up further, allowing my lips to nip at the edge of her collarbone.

“You are so beautiful.” I grumbled, edging kisses along her collarbone until I reached the other end. She groaned again, hands tightening in my hair again as if she were afraid to move them. Perhaps control wasn’t something she held onto well.

“You’re drunk.” She grumbled out, breathless, hands still trembling and gripping tightly in my hair. She was shivering, but it wasn’t because of the cold. I was doing this to her… Me, Clarke fucking Griffin, was doing this to her. I felt some kind of euphoric happiness take over me, my teeth meeting her skin as a smile broke out on my face. She wanted me. This night couldn’t get better.

Actually it could.

It could get much better.

My hands slid to rub the inside of her thighs and I was greeted with a pleasant growl in the back of her throat. Her hands gripped my hair tighter now and pulled my head back from where I had been kissing her skin so she could look me in the eyes. The look she gave me was honestly breath taking. Her pupils were blown; I could barely make out the edge of green to them. Her breathing was ragged, she stared at me in a way that easily sent a shiver down my spine and a liquid hit pooled between my legs.

“Stop.” Her tone was harsh, demanding, her eyes full of lust. I wanted to do everything but stop. I wanted to take her against this stupid car, make her come so hard she wouldn’t be able to walk. I wanted her panting and moaning my name as she saw stars. I had never wanted my face between someone’s legs so much in my life than I did in this moment. “We’re going home.” She added after a while. She had finally caught her breath, though my hands remained where they were, on her thighs.

“I want to fuck you.” I would never speak like this if I was in my right mind; never say such things to her. But I honestly didn’t mean to be so crass, or for it sound rude… In fact it didn’t sound rude. My voice cracked as I said it, like I was just realizing how badly I really wanted her. But I hadn’t just realized it. I’ve wanted her since I met her, since she walked through the doors for the first time and set pictures out on the desk next to mine. I’ve wanted her since she first looked at me, tilted her head to the side with a cocky little grin and mumbled out her name.

I am desperately in love.

And she definitely knows it.

Her reaction to my words weren’t unpleasant, she wasn’t at all offended. In fact, she shivered, tilted her head back again, and closed her eyes as if the words caused her so much stress… the good kind of stress. Her lips had parted, she breathed heavily, she didn’t speak, didn’t look at me for minutes that felt like years. The longer she stood against this car, the stronger the urge was to move my hand further up, to run my fingers through warmth. I was going to do it, my hand slowly caressing skin as it met the edge of her underwear. I was going to do it, but the sudden movement sprung her into action. She pushed my hands away from her, she was still breathing rather heavily, and I couldn’t see that lovely green in her eyes, the black pupil taking over most of it.

“No Clarke.” She mumbled out, her voice strained and as raspy as mine had become. She swung around, pulling her keys out and unlocking her car. She pulled the passenger door open, looking at me, swept her gaze hungrily over me before grabbing my wrist and pulling me into the car, reaching over me to buckle me. I just watched her longingly, begging for a day to make love to her.

“Why don’t you want me too?” I pouted slightly, my words slurring slightly as she pulled back from me once she had buckled me. “You look like you want me too.” I added for good measure as she grabbed my chin with her hand, forcing me to look up at her. She leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on my mouth that I tried to respond to, to deepen, but she was too quick and was pulling away from me again. I leaned forward trying to catch her but she just shoved me back in my seat.

“You’re drunk, Clarke.” She answered. Her tone even and leveled, though a look of pain crossed her features as she pulled out of the car and slammed the door beside me. She rounded the little vehicle quickly. She opened the driver side door and sat down and buckled herself in, glancing at me to notice that I’ve been staring at her the entire time. A blush shuffled across her cheeks as the smirk she likes so much surfaced on my face. I leaned my head back against my seat and tilted my head so I could comfortably watch her while she drove us home.

“You’re beautiful,” I mumbled out to break the silence after a while. The soft glow of street light after street light lit her face in such a pretty way. Her long lashes fluttering slightly as each head light hit passed her. A small smile had etched its way onto her lips as she glanced at me and then quickly back to the road.

“I think I like you drunk.” She teased softly, taking a turn onto our road that would lead to our apartments.

“You don’t like me enough though.” I pouted out, huffing slightly as I wrapped my arms around myself, realizing how cold it is. I shivered slightly, feeling the alcohol start to take over my consciousness. I didn’t want to sleep though; I wanted to be awake, to seduce Lexa into my bed, to hold Lexa as she fell asleep… I can’t sleep.

“We’re here, don’t sleep yet.” She coaxed allowing her hand to glide across my cheek gently. She pulled the car into park and pulled the keys from the ignition and quickly hoped out to round it to my side. She helped pull me out, I was sure I was a lot heavier than normal, the alcohol effecting my mood which I tried protesting a bit grumpily.

“I don’t want to sleep.” I whined as she wrapped her arm around my waist, and brought my arm around her shoulder.

“Your droopy little eyes say otherwise.” She teased gently, the green to her gaze was back, and her pupils not as blown as they had been. I grumbled at the sight, wishing I had the energy to get that gaze to return. It had been so sexy, so hot. I’ll probably never get her to look at me like that again.

This sucks.

Extremely, mega sucks.

“Why don’t you love me Lexa? I’m nice.” I complained as I slumped against the wall she set me against, right beside the door to my apartment. She unraveled my purse from her own arms that I hadn’t even realized she was carrying and shuffled through my bag until she found my keys. “I’m a good lover,” I continued when she didn’t answer, though a small smile had started at the edge of her beautiful full lips.

“Oh I have no doubt.” She teased lightly, shoving my key into my door and shoving it open. “I live next to you; I can hear how good of a lover you are.” Her eyes were light, her smile growing as I glowered at her.

“Those girls don’t even mean anything to me.” I confessed pitifully. “What’s a bunch of girls if none of them are you?” I added, tilting my head slightly as her delicate smile grew, her eyes shimmering with affection for me. The normal look she gives me. I cherished that look, but I missed the hungry one she had given me when I had her pinned to the car. I don’t have the energy to pin her to the wall and try to coax it out of her again. _Fuck this._

“Why are you unbearably romantic when you’re drunk?” She teased further, pulling me from the wall and against her so she can help me into my apartment. She kicked the door shut after we crossed the threshold and turned slightly to lock it.

“I’m actually serious Lexa.” I said a bit snappily, which had her laughing slightly, tilting her head a bit to let it out. It was such a beautiful sound, though I didn’t appreciate her making fun of me very much.

“I know you are.” She leaned forward, brushing her lips against the skin of my cheek and I felt it resonate through my entire body. I groaned a bit annoyed as she pulled away, and gripped onto her tighter then I had intended too. “Let’s get you to bed so you can rest. Lucky we don’t have work tomorrow.” She began to drag me toward the room as I stumbled and slumped sleepily into her, trying to fight my own fatigue.

“I want to make love to you, I don’t want to sleep.” I complained further once we had entered the bedroom and she set me down on the bed lightly. She grinned at me, a toothy white grin that coaxed a small smile out of me. She was irritating me with that stupid teasing smile but it was so contagious I couldn’t fight my answering grin.

“You’d be sloppy anyway. Don’t you want to be rested so you can impress me?” She teased, sitting down on her knees on the floor and pulling my ankles toward her so she can take off my heels one by one. My skin burned where her fingers touched.

“You won’t let me impress you.” I snarled back. She chuckled at me and tossed my heels across the room near my closet. She stood now and pointed down at me.

“Don’t fall asleep yet.” She demanded as I frowned up at her and leaned against my elbows.

“So bossy,” I sassed back as she crossed the room to my dresser and pulled a drawer open. She knew where I kept my collection of baggy shirts and quickly pulled one of my favorites from the top. She crossed back over to me and coaxed me back into a sitting position, pulling the Santa hat from hair and throwing it onto the ground beside her. “Be careful with that, it’s the only one I have.” I shot out defensively, causing her grin to return to her lips.

“I’ll make sure to hang it back up where you had it, right by the tree in the living room.” She promised delicately, smoothing out my hair with her hands that had been ruffled by the hat. I frowned up at her, reveling in the way she took care of me.

“Why don’t you want to be with me Lexa?” She leaned forward and unzipped the back of my dress, coaxing me up off the bed so it would pool at my feet. Her eyes lingered for a while on different pieces of my body, though she had seen some of it before. But suddenly that expression was back, that hungry one I had caused out by the car and I felt a tug of happiness and heat spread through me. But I was too tired to further her expression and she was quickly shoving my favorite baggy shirt over my head, touching skin as she let it slowly unravel down my body. I shivered to her, the feel of her cold fingers on me, feeling as if each touch caused a burning path. I released a heavy breath, my eyes meeting hers that had suddenly dilated again.

“I never said I didn’t.” She answered, and I couldn’t even remember what I had asked her. My body was humming to her touches, her hands that were still pressed against the skin on my hips. My head swimming with the hungry look in her eyes. She looked so sexy, so inviting, I leaned forward and she didn’t pull away as I pressed my lips against hers. But I let this kiss be soft, tender. It was sweet and though I wanted more, I didn’t have the energy to pursue the sudden heat between my legs. She was right, I was too tired, I’d be sloppy and I want to impress her.

I pulled back from her and pressed my forehead to hers, silently celebrating the way her breathing had returned to being so ragged and rough, puffing out against my own lips. “Stay with me?” I asked delicately, vulnerably and I felt her nod against me.

“Always,” She answered, pulling back from me and pushing me back onto the bed. “I’m going to get you some water, don’t fall asleep yet.” She helped me under the covers as I nodded, and watched her hips sway as she left the room to do just that.

I love her.

I love her more than anything else in this entire fucked up world.

She returned not long after, a glass of ice water in her hand. She sat next to me, coaxed me to sit up a little and brought the glass to my lips so I’d drink some of it. I ended up drinking too much of it in one sitting and nearly choked on it, which she laughed slightly at and set the glass next to me rubbing my back lightly.

She then abruptly stood from where she was seated and rounded my bed toward my dresser again, finding another of my favorite baggy shirts and stripped herself quickly, changing into it too fast for my liking. “You could just sleep naked.” I added my voice hoarse from the lust and exhaustion I was experiencing. She laughed, unpinning her hair so it swirled around her.

“I’m going to go wash my face, you can sleep now.” She mumbled in a hushed tone as she crossed my bedroom to the adjoining bathroom. I watch her the best I could through the mirror that I could see in the bathroom as she rids herself of the make-up she had put on that night. Every single version of Lexa was perfect and beautiful. Lexa with make-up, Lexa with no make-up. It didn’t matter what she was wearing, she was perfect.

And I am desperately in love.

And she had to know it.

She padded her way out of the bathroom, shutting off the lights to it and making her way toward me. The only light in the room that had been there the whole time was that glowing one from the street lamps outside. I honestly wondered how she had managed so well in the dark, eyes not completely adjusted to it myself even though I’ve been in it long enough… but then again that could be because I was rather tired and fighting sleep.

The bed dipped with her weight and the blankets lifted so she could slide under them, the warmth of her body quickly soothing the cold that had hit my skin from the action. She wrapped her arms around me, hiking up my large shirt a little so some of my stomach wasn’t covered by it but by her hand and she pulled me close to her, burying her nose in my neck and wrapping one of her long slender legs around mine. My arm wrapped around her waist, not caring of the weight of her body being on it.

There wasn’t anything much better than this.

Besides maybe having sex with her, this is what they call heaven.

I found myself quickly dozing off, but before I completely could the words were leaving my lips before I could stop them. Because I couldn’t have one drunken night without saying the words to her, without admitting how desperately and deeply in love I was with her.

“I love you.” And it had come out of my throat ripped and vulnerable, too vulnerable for how tired I was. My eyes weren’t even open; my heart wasn’t even hammering as it normally did when she was this close. I was so close to sleep, and yet the words had ripped through me like I was wide awake. But I wasn’t, I had fallen asleep to fast to hear if she ever even responded to me, to feel if she tensed or not. I had no idea what her reaction was, because the sleep I had been fighting off finally won and I was out before anything else could happen.

 

 

I probably woke up because of the cold. I was alone in my bed, as most mornings were, and I wasn’t quite sure why I felt disappointed by that until I remembered that I hadn’t gone to sleep alone in this bed. No, Lexa had been here, was here, against me. But now she wasn’t and I was fucking freezing.

I shivered and brought the blankets up around my neck, groaning slightly as the sun had fought its way in hit my face. I didn’t have much of a headache, but a low throb was there, and I didn’t need the light in my face to make it worse. I shifted to bury myself in the pillows to hide from the sun. I wanted more sleep, but I didn’t want to sleep alone… _Where did Lexa go? Back to her apartment? Why did she bother ever leaving my bed again?_

I grumbled not dwelling on last night, allowing most of the memories to stay fuzzy for the moment as I shifted and pulled myself up from my pillows. I slide my hands down my face before slowly squinting my eyes open to the rather lit up room. Where had my curtain gone and why didn’t I remember that I would need that up, drunk or not? I groaned again unhappily and flopped back down onto my bed, letting my eyes adjust and get used to the light.

_Where is Lexa?_

I sighed heavily; whenever she stayed she usually didn’t leave in the morning. She usually slept longer then me actually, and I always had to coax her out of bed with warm coffee and some kind of promise of food that she wanted most, which I always had to guess because she never just came out and said what it was she wanted. I never minded though, I liked the little game she played.

On the rare occasions I did sleep longer then Lexa she never left. She’d watch television in my living room, have coffee ready for me when I finally woke up. She never woke me up, always let me sleep if I was sleeping longer than her. I don’t know why she did that. I sighed; I didn’t hear the television, or the coffee machine, or pans in the kitchen, or footsteps. She wasn’t here, and my house was as lonely as it was on most mornings. I suppose it’s probably something I did or said last night. Drunk me was rather handsy, and affectionate, and talked too much. I probably spent another night confessing my undying love for her before unattractively throwing up somewhere before she decided to take me home. 

I didn’t want to think about it. I knew how I was when I was drunk. I knew how in love I was with her. I knew there were no restrictions on my stupid mouth when alcohol was involved. I also knew that I should probably stop fucking drinking around her before I completely fucked up everything. At least I still had her in my life, whether she loved me in that way or not. She loved me enough. I needed to stop getting desperate and trying to ruin that.

I groaned and buried my face in my hands again. What did I do? Did I already fuck up? I feel like I did. _She isn’t here._ I through my covers off of me and stood from my bed. I might as well go try and fix it the best I can. Lexa usually didn’t take me very seriously when I was drunk, so I had that mostly on my side.

I sauntered by way grumpily to the bathroom but stopped as I got closer to the door… _She is here._ I can hear the water to my abnormally quite shower running… She’s never showered here before. Suddenly my heart is in my throat and I don’t know what encourages me to do it but I’m opening the door.

Fuck, it’s too late, I should have knocked but she knows the door is opening because it makes an obnoxious squeak when it does. I can blame it on it being morning, on being to sleepy to realize. “Clarke?” Her voice is loud to reach over the sound of the water, but its affectionate and raspy and so god damned sexy that I can’t seem to find an answer… She’s in my shower. _My shower._ Dear god.

I hadn’t answered yet, and she took that opportunity to pock her head out of the shower curtain, some of her shoulder showing slightly and my eyes found the skin immediately. By god… why was she doing this? I’d rather she leave… No, no of course I wouldn’t rather she leave… This is just… She’s in _my shower_. “Good morning,” She greets me with a rather bright grin, too bright for Lexa and I raise an eyebrow at her suspiciously. Something in her gaze wicked and teasing.

“You’re in my shower?” My voice was squeaky and not at all as confident as I tried to normally keep it around her. She only responded by furthering that wicked grin on her lips and allowing a sexy low chuckle to escape the back of her throat.

Fuck, what the hell?

I squirmed where I stood, reverting my eyes to the floor because I honestly felt guilty for all of the thoughts shuffling through my head right now… Naked Lexa in _my shower_ , washing and lathering her body with soap, droplets hitting every inch of her skin… every inch. Oh god, why is she showering? This is torture.

“Would you like to join me?” Her voice was so low and sexy and I was so shocked that I shot my eyes from the ground to look at her so quickly it made me dizzy. I reached for the sink at the sudden turn of the room.

“Wh… what?” I stuttered out, a wicked grin stretching along her plump lips as she disappeared behind the curtain.

“No? Okay.” She laughed and I could see her figure outlined in the curtain. My stomach clenched, I was squirming where I stood… _what a tease_. I clenched my jaw, the heat between my legs uncomfortable and invading as I reached for my tooth brush, wiping the fog from the mirror that had formed because of Lexa in the shower.

“Why are you showering here?” I ask after a while of silence, frustration lacing my tone. I don’t think I had ever been this turned on, at least not in a long time. I couldn’t stop picturing her in that stupid shower, rubbing her hands along her own body, and now I have the image of her asking me to join her, whether serious or not, still the image and my day is successfully ruined. I’m not going to be able to stop thinking about this all day.

“I like it more than mine.” She answered back, the water shutting off and I distracted myself with rushing the bristles of the toothbrush along my teeth rather than watching Lexa step from the tub, pulling the curtain back, grabbing a blue towel from the rack. She wasn’t even covering up; this is so not my morning.

My eyes found her body in the mirror as she shook the towel around her hair, drying it slightly before rubbing droplets from her arms and legs and oh my god why is she doing this? Her eyes eventually meant mine in the mirror as she wrapped the towel around her body and I quickly shot my gaze down to the sink where I spit the toothpaste out and turned the water on to wash it away.

“Would you prefer I use my own shower, because I thought you were rather enjoying the view.” Lexa flirting with me is something I’m most certainly not used to. She has before, because she’s natural when it comes to flirting, but it was subtle things, small touches. This is… this is full on and I don’t know how much more I can take of it.

“What are you doing Lexa?” I asked, turning my head to look at her as she stood beside me, only wrapped up in a stupid blue towel. One small tug and it would come tumbling off… I want it off… I want it off so badly. My eyes were attached to where it was loose; to the spot I would tug for it to fall open.

She knew I was desperately in love with her.

So what was she doing?

“I wanted to get clean?” She phrases it like a question, as if she doesn’t know what she’s doing herself. I let my gaze meet hers and grip the sink at the sight presented to me. Memories from last night flood in slightly at the look in her eyes and I have to force my gaze away before I say or do something stupid.

“Please put clothes on.” I was clenching my teeth now, jaw tight. My tone was strained, it spoke all the things I wouldn’t form into words. And instead of listening to me, and back off Lexa moved closer, her body brushing my side slightly and I sucked in a gasp at the contact.

“Is that really what you want?” She whispered seductively, her lips at my ear, her fingers gliding under my baggy shirt to find skin. What the hell is happening? Am I dreaming? What the hell happened last night?

“What’s happening right now?” I strained out again, gasping slightly as her teeth tugged on my earlobe before she soothed it with her tongue and began to move open mouth kissed down my neck. My knees were growing weak and I found the sink again for support, not touching because I didn’t know what was happening. I wanted to touch her, but… I couldn’t without her asking me too. This situation felt delicate, I barely believed it was happening.

“Something you want Clarke, take it.” Her breath swirled in my ear, and I knew what my gaze was full of when I turned my head to meet her eyes. Her pupils blown again, like the night before, staring at me with that hungry lustful gaze I had thought I’d never get the chance to coax out of her without being alcohol induced.

We stared at each other a moment, eyes shifting from each other’s eyes to lips to each other’s eyes again before I reached for her neck and brought her lips to mine. It was instantly heated, full of lust and passion and long awaited desire that I had been denied and holding back for years. Her moan as I bit her bottom lip and then soothed it with my tongue was everything. I shivered to the sound, felt it in my core as she pressed herself to me.

Was I still dreaming?

Have I died and gone to heaven?

Her fingers were in my hair tugging and pulling me closer and mine and shifted to the spot where I could easily pull on her towel, but I didn’t. I’ve been given permission but part of me was still hesitant. I wanted her to want this like me. My tongue ran along her teeth and she opened her mouth to me, both of us moaning as our tongue met somewhere in the middle, eager to touch, to consume one another. I have never felt like this, never wanted to drown in someone so much as I did in this moment. My fingers itched at the edge of the towel, tugging lightly but not enough to pull it off as if to indicate what I wanted. She leaned back slightly, and I tugged it. The towel tumbled off her body and onto the ground, but I didn’t take the moment to admire because I was still drowning in her kiss, her lips, her tongue, her taste. My senses were filled with her and I couldn’t think of anything that could possibly be better than this.

Her hands moved from my hair to glide under my shirt, along skin, burning a path by her touch. I moaned as she pushed my shirt up my body, palms resting against skin as she slides them up my sides. She breaks the kiss reluctantly to throw my shirt somewhere on the bathroom floor and her eyes land on my chest and the skin of my body before meeting my gaze. But my gaze was admiring every beautifully naked inch of her. God she wasn’t human, couldn’t be. Skin so soft, hips just perfect, and her breasts. I was staring at a sculpture of perfection… I had seen part of it before, had imagined it and even dreamed of it, but nothing compared to the way she looked now in this moment. Wet hair cascading around her, dark lustful look in her eyes that could make anyone squirm, skin flushed from the warmth of the shower and possibly from how much she may want me. She was perfect, and my movements were slow as I reached out, touching the skin on her belly, reveling in the way her muscles tensed to my touch. I slide my hand up, enjoying soft slightly damp skin that I had ached to touch this way for so long.

“You don’t know how beautiful you are.” I whispered. My voice is hoarse and raspy with lust but also amazement, admiration, love. Because I love her, because this moment is this beautiful because of how much I love her. And I’m pulling her to me again, ignoring the way her eyes drop to my lips before I pull her in and kiss her slowly and passionately, pouring my emotions and feelings into this moment. Her grip on my hips tighten and move up to my neck and I think she’s responding to me the way I always dreamed she would, full of passion and love and by god I’m a wreck. I’m a complete mushed up wreck, a fool in love, and for a moment it feels as if maybe she is too.

Her kisses aren’t eager anymore, but just as passionate and delicate and sweet as her tongue slides with mine as she rummages her hands around my body, feeling, embracing and I moan into the kiss again because nothing has ever felt better than this. I slide a hand to one of her breasts, loving the way it feels in my hand, brushing my thumb over a hard nipple, almost moaning to the way she moans in my mouth and leans into my touch.

I split my lips from hers to begin to press slow kisses along her jawline, taking in her taste, savoring the way she shivers as I run my fingers down her bare back and bring her against me. “Take me to your bed.” She whispers, and if I hadn’t been so close there isn’t any way I would have heard it. I nod, nipping at that spot on her neck that makes her squirm before picking her up, letting her legs wrap around me as I carry her to my bed. I lay her down slowly, savoring how dark her eyes are, how beautiful she looks with the sun touching her skin. I lean down and begin pressing kisses to her stomach, my body responding to hers responding to me. She moans, tilting her head back as I swirl my tongue in her belly button, and the sound shoots straight through me to my core. I’m aching, throbbing in a way I don’t think I quite have before. I wonder if she feels this way? If she wants me as badly as I want her.

My hands are spreading her knees apart as I kiss up her body toward her breasts. Her fingers thread in my hair, pulling slightly as I lavish a nipple with my tongue, swirling my tongue in a way that coaxes another one of those sexy fucking moans from the back of her throat. I run my hands along the inside of her thighs, rubbing slightly as I slide kisses from one breast to the next, cherishing the body beneath me. She squirms as I slide my fingers toward where she most likely wants them most. Her breathing is ragged, her own fingers still in my hair.

“Please,” She whispers, voice raspy and lost and I am amazed I am doing this to her, with her. I’m amazed I’m causing that look on her face, that plea in her voice and I don’t make her beg much because I can hardly believe this is happening. And I want to touch her; I want to touch her so badly that when I finally do run my fingers through the warmth of her, I swear to god I can feel it too.

And she’s so wet.

So deliciously wet.

She groans, a noise that sets my entire body on fire, as I slide my fingers along the length of her, feeling her arousal around my fingers. “Fuck, you’re wet.” I grumble as I slide my fingers down near her entrance, amazed that I have done this too her. Her only response is a moan as I slide my fingers back up finding her clit and pressing on it slightly, making her body buck up against me, another sexy moan filling the air.

I nibble up her neck, reveling in the squirming she does beneath me. I press my lips to her ear, breathing just as heavily as she is. “I want to taste you.” I whisper and she moans to my words, and I fill the moan in every part of my body. She doesn’t talk much, just makes a lot of sounds as I kiss down her body, tongue pushing out to taste skin, sweet clean skin that I’ve only dreamed of tasting. She squirms beneath me as I rub her clit a little causing another sexy moan and her hips to canter upward.

I slide an arm around her hips to keep her down as I kiss along spread thighs, relaxed and in place between her legs. She moans as I pull skin with my teeth before pushing my tongue out to soothe the area that I had marked. “God damn it,” Lexa mumble above me and when I look up to see her she’s looking down at me. I can’t see the green in her eyes and it’s the sexiest look I’ve ever received.

I slide my tongue up her thigh near her entrance and she drops down, breathing heavily with anticipation, and I can’t help the way my own stomach clenches with the beauty of it. God how I want this more than anything. I can smell her, smell how much she wants me, and she smells so good. I’m blowing on her center, smirking at the way she groans at the action before I reach my tongue out and swipe the length of her, the taste of her exploding on my tongue, and by god it’s amazing.

Her hands find my hair once I do another long slow lick along her wet walls and find her clit, sucking it into my mouth and flicking my tongue against it. She’s moaning and squirming and tugging my face closer to her, words incoherently falling from her mouth, and I think this is the best moment of my entire life. I’m pulling my left hand along her thigh and then I’m entering two fingers in her. I do everything slow, my licks along her clit are torturous, the fingers I push inside of her curl slowly, and the groan I am honored with is a gift from god.

“Please Clarke,” She moans as I curl my fingers slower, swirling my tongue slower around the bundle of nerves. She bucks into me, her breathing erratic and her head tipped back on the pillows. I finally increase my movements, swirling my tongue a little harder, sucking a little more, pushing my fingers deeper, curling them, pulling them back, and pushing them in. I listen to every moan, every plea, pay attention to every movement that makes her moan louder, and I do it again. And I cherish her, I love her how I’ve always wanted to until she’s releasing a loud moan of my name and her walls are tightening around my fingers and I know she’s coming. She coming for me, her smell overwhelming and fucking perfect, and I’m pulling my fingers out so I can taste it, taste her as she comes for me and it’s perfect. God it’s beautiful. Her taste caking my tongue and I do my best to take it all in as she slumps into the bed, catching her breath and coming down from the sky.

I finish my ministrations and begin to lay sweet kisses back up her body, swirling my tongue into her belly button before abandoning it and leaving wet kisses along her body as I kiss up until I find her lips that respond to me almost immediately. And I revel in the way her tongue immediately reaches out to meet mine, and I moan softly when her fingers grip my skin, because I’m sensitive and so turned on and so ready and so fucking happy.

I’m so in love.

And she knows it.

Suddenly she’s flipping us over, straddling my hips and I can feel her against my stomach, and feel her naked chest against mine, and I’m convinced I’m in heaven. Her teeth reach out and bite my bottom lip and she pushes her tongue out to soothe the bite and I moan to it, and I moan as she does this again along my skin, biting and tasting skin and it feels so nice and I love this… _I love her._

Her lips brush my ear so sweetly I shiver and then she’s whispering sweet things in my ear, sweet romantic things and my head is spinning as she slides her fingers down my stomach. Everything in my body is clenching with anticipation, my hips moving upward as soon as I feel her fingers glide through the small amount of hair between my legs.

She bites my earlobe again and soothes it with her tongue and I’m breathing so heavy I might die. “We should take these off.” She giggles slightly, tugging on the side of my underwear that I had never removed. I groaned, because I don’t care what she does with them, I just want her. I want her to touch me, to feel her with me. “I want to see your face when you come for me.” She whispers lightly, her nose brushing mine and I open my eyes to meet hers and by god, when will she stop looking at me like that? Actually, I hope the answer is never, because I’ve never been so in love with one look in my entire life. She slides her fingers a little more, pushing fingers through thoroughly wet folds and she moans with me as she feels me but I can’t think about how sexy it is because my entire body is focused on those fingers, the feeling of them between my legs. And I’m spreading my knees farther apart on want and instinct and she’s grinning at me and fuck this is the best moment of my entire life.

The tips of her fingers swirl around my clit and it sends spikes of pleasure through my whole body that cause my hips to buck and my head to tip, a quiet moan slipping from my throat. I’ve never been very loud, I’m not one too, but it was so tempting to not hold them back, to just let go because this is perfect and it feels amazing and nothing is better than this. She’s nipping at my jaw again, swirling a little rough around the bundle of nerves sending more pleasure spikes through my body, making my stomach clench deliciously and a louder moan releases from the back of my throat as I shut my eyes. Her lips nipping at a spot on my neck that makes me squirm and she’s pushing her fingers down my center and by god it feels perfect.

And then she’s inside of me, and my body is clenching around her in the most delicious way and I can’t do anything but moan as she spins her fingers and curls them inside of me causing feelings I never thought were possible to feel. I grip the sheets, because I have to grip something and I can’t think about anything but her fingers inside of me, pushing and curling and touching spots that I never knew could make me feel this way. Her thumb pulls up to swirl along my clit in time with the curl of her fingers and I’m bucking my hips to try and meet every movement creating a rhythm, noises leaving my throat I’ve never heard myself make before and she’s fucking grin against my skin.

She’s making me feel fucking amazing.

And she knows it.

I can feel myself getting closer, the chase for that release, my stomach clenching with anticipation with every push and curl of her fingers. And I want it so bad. “Oh god, please.” I beg because I can’t help it. I want, I need to come. I need her to make me come. She’s lifting her lips from the place on my neck she had been sucking and she smirks at me, that sexy fucking perfect smirk as she speeds up her movements just a little, swirling her thumb just perfectly and she says.

“Come for me Clarke,” and I do. Her words my undoing as the stars explode around my eyes and her name comes tumbling from my lips, the sheets tight in my grip, my body stiff and unmoving a moment as her movements slow but continue to expand the amount of pleasure running through my entire body, encasing my entire world.

I have never felt this. Not like this. And as I’m coming down I can vaguely see her bring her fingers to her mouth and it causes another moan to escape me as I watch her taste me. I feel content and exhausted and completely sedated at this moment, my body is slack in this bed and by god why did she make me wait so long for this moment?

My breathing is slowly returning and I can see her smiling down at me, her wet hair tickling the side of my face slightly as she leans down and lays lazy kisses on my lips and I know there isn’t anything better than this. “I’ve never heard you moan before.” She whispers against my lips. “Not like that.” I’m pulling my hands around her waist to keep her naked body on top of me because it’s perfect and her skin against mine is perfect and I don’t want anything more than this.

“I don’t moan like that.” I finally respond, my voice feeling raw and lost in my throat as she smirks down at me.

She is godly.

I am desperately in love.

“Told you those girls weren’t good for you.” She teased lightly, nipping at my lips slightly as I let a soft smile grace my own.

“You were jealous.” I fought the words out, though my throat felt tight for some reason. I had no idea why I was so desperately in love with her that it made me emotional this way.

“A little,” She whispers, her palm reaching up and brushing along my cheekbone. “But not a lot because I know you’re in love with me.” A small sun like smile graced her lips at this and I felt my chest expand with the amount of how true those words are.

Oh, how she knows.

“It’s not nice to tease people.” I managed out after a long pleasantly silent moment. This statement caused a giant grin to grace those beautiful lips and she was repositioning herself on top of me to straddle me again.

“Let me make it up to you then.” She whispered seductively and began to do that nipping thing with her teeth and tongue again and all I could do was moan in response, my stomach clenching in delicious anticipation all over again.

I am completely, desperately, amazingly in love.

And she fucking knows it.

 

 

It was about five in the evening and she was sleeping because what else was she going to do after the activities of our day? She had fallen asleep around four, curled up against me, but now she lay a bit away, face half covered in the pillow, one hand reached out to touch my own as she slept.

She was perfect.

And I couldn’t help myself as I leaned over and placed a delicate kiss to the corner of her mouth because I love her… And the words escape me, a completely sober me. “I love you.” Soft and in a whisper and quiet and she sleeps, but they escape me because they are true. There isn’t anything more true than this.

But I don’t expect her to open her eyes.

I don’t expect her to look at me like that.

And then her hands are on my face and she’s pulling me toward her again and I feel my chest grow with the kiss she gives me, and feel my heart swell with the words she mutters against my lips. “Please don’t break my heart Clarke.” The words so vulnerable and innocent and sweet.

When I pull back she has a look of fear and affection in her gaze. I lean my forehead against hers and brush my fingers along her cheek, reveling in the way she leans into my touch, in the look that graces her features. “I love you, I wouldn’t ever try to hurt you.” I whisper because speaking any louder feels wrong, feels like an intrusion.

She smiles at me, softly, painfully and I run my thumb along her lips just getting used to that kind of smile. I have never seen her smile like this. “I love you too, Clarke.” She says gently, and tugs my hips so she can lay against me, her body tired and I wrap her in my arms, hoping I make her feel as safe and warm as she makes me feel.

I can feel my heart in my throat again. Her voice repeating the words over and over, and I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this, but I’ve never been so fucking happy in my life.

I’m desperately in love with Lexa Woods.

And Lexa Woods… She loves me too.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I want to be clear I've never written "sin" before... so... Idk.  
> Anyways. I hope you guys liked it. ;)
> 
> Twitter's @elizamejane if you ever want to get a hold of me or whatever.
> 
> See you in the next fic. <3


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